Speaking to You

There are times,
Where I forget how to speak,
And it is how to speak to you

Are there stitches sewn into my tender skin?
Sewn across my bloody lips?

Why is it that I am choking on my words?

I want to tell you,
And I want to say everything that I mean

But how can I?
It is a troubling dilemma,
And it sometimes feels like I can never solve it

But why is it only you?

You seem to make me forget,
Or you make me feel like I shouldn't speak a word
Even when you say nothing of the sort or even have it on your mind,
Yet I still won't have the nerve to tell you

My emotions have a fear of you,
And my voice is discouraged just by your very being

It hurts and it's frustrating,
I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart,
But the sight of you sends my heart into an ocean wrapped in metallic chains,
And it sinks deeper and becomes a solid rock

Why can't I tell you?
I wish I could,
And I'll find a day
... That's if I can find the words,
And I'll tell you how I feel

... Just not today

And I'll finally be able to do the talking