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Inner PeaceYou're thrown away into the depths of your room,
Each corner is obscure and coated with solitude,
And you feel trapped as you tear at the walls of your thoughts,
You question everything you stand for,
You question your very being,
And even though you never feel this way on a regular basis,
These massive ideas fill your head with these lies,
These lies trick your mind, and you feel it as only the truth,
You have no release, and you are breaking,
Utterly breaking, the pieces of your sanity - breaking
You feel like you deserve nothing, and that you become a waste of time,
You hold back the tears because you're trying to stand strong,
Yet it becomes one of the most difficult tasks you have had to accomplish,
There is no release between these thoughts,
You are a captive, and you can't help it,
Binded by your limbs, your skull is internally bleeding from your own beating,
You can't help but feel like an unworthy soul,
And you just live through it,
You just live through it,
Of course you can'
Why So Cold?Sweetie, why are you so cold?
Why is your blood iced beneath that shell of skin?
Honey, what happened to your heart?
Has it grown dim or is it gone?
Sweetie, why won't you hug me?
Show me that you love me,
And always hug me and let me know you will never want to leave my embrace
But why do you push me away, sweetie?
Do you not love me?
Am I your problem?
You are so bitter
Why do you loathe me so?
You don't say that you do,
But how am I to think otherwise-
Why do you feel that you want to show every ounce of love?
But you don't feel right at times when you recieve it,
You push it away
You reject it not meaning to
But it felt right, in a way, to push it afar
When you knew it was wrong to do so,
Sweetie, you want the love and affection,
And you desire it,
And you get tired of being called so emotionless and cold,
And you want to feel warm and feel that beating inside
But Sweetie, you act so harsh and mean
Inside you are loving and caring
Contradicting yourself never helps,
Trickster of Love
I sit intrigued with keen senses,
Fiddling with locks of hair,
Staring with my focus on him,
Wanting to claw my way to his heart,
He adorns the air to make it glisten,
I ask him how he does what he does,
He pulls me close and tells me,
"It's magic, my dear,"
His lips to my head and I feel the presence of his wicked smile,
Absolutely magic because there is a spell I feel,
It is more than the usual everyday parlor tricks,
Feeling a certain magnetisim in his secrets,
Somehow, he draws out that hidden charisma,
And I have no problem as I feel the need to hold him closer,
Out of the air, he hands me a white rose embellished with colors,
Extraordinary, bizzare, and peculiar, but things I love,
Placing the flower to my heart to pretend it is emerging with it,
For the colors are intertwined and threaded with tenderness and affection,
He opens the gateway to slice a special spot inside my heart to make way for him,
Just feeling paralyzed by his love and magic, and I can't help but feel devoted
Serial Killer Named LoveLove kills the heart of one who once had such a simple soul,
Its scythe so easily carves into the organ like a butcher knife to raw meat
This soul bleeds out to Love,
And Love does not care
When it seeks your pain of your heart
Love dresses in a red, silk robe,
Seeming to be so delicate and delightful as a voluptuous rose,
And there is a hood attached, draping over its head,
Love hides its face in secretivity, leaving only a mystery,
Yet for when its face is shown-
You see the face of a death that kills you,
Yet you don't see an engraved tombstone
But you notice a painstaking rock inside your chest
Love embraces you with intertwining arms,
And clouds your mind and your once-so-sharp intuition
Love lifts you to keep you off your feet,
So not once did you feel sad nor did you feel the need to end it
Love kisses you softly,
So that you have that spark and not speak
Love also gouges you in the back to reach your charmed heart,
So that all could end and burst out to pain and complications
The BetrayalHe was in love, she was not,
He would do anything for her pleasure,
She would draw him into her charms,
Capturing him as prisoner inside her deceiving tricks,
He fell for her immensely as he landed face-first onto the solid ground,
His heart was so innocent and pure,
And her heart was an obscure void that carried artic winds,
He would tell her how she was able to brighten his day and how glad he was to have her,
She would say the same but not once did she ever mean it,
He would carry her across any threshold just so walking won't ever be a burden,
He would climb a range of mountains to locate that one flower that she adores,
He would swim into the depths of the oceans to find a pearl that could do her justice,
He would do anything to flaunt his love for her
Yet, what did she ever do for him?
He felt this chill whenever he stood by her side,
But out of blind ignorance, he never did notice,
She was so cold, and she was a woman with a malicious spirit,
She felt and feels no guilt, and the
A Kill for KindnessIt doesn't matter how hard I try
I put forth many acts of kindness
Yet it always seems to be a mess
So, what now, I apparently have to change
I fight that thought with each chance I get,
A heart wrapped in a barbed wire, soaked in a pain,
Yet each drop is pure with good intentions,
This means I am genuinely trying to be kind,
But you just don't notice that, do you?
I mean no harm, pain, torture, and any deeds you accuse,
Don't frame me, don't assume anything,
Because you are completely wrong, utterly wrong,
I thought I was right to try, you don't care, do you?
Should everything that is pure of me, wither away,
Obviously, you are oblivious, you don't notice,
Disect the heart, past the scars and through the middle,
There wasn't evil and malevolence, only kindness,
But you don't really believe it even when you see it,
Point your bullet at the bleeding target,
Even though the justice you insist is real, is fake,
I tried to be a decent being of this place,
I tried shouting the truth-Somethi
ProtectorCan you be the one to protect me?
Because it's getting harder to trust,
As it becomes harder to breathe
Could your wings cover me?
As if they were impervious to the pain that I want to escape,
Please allow me to rest my head upon your shoulder,
As you are my only comfort,
And the one to never cause my tears
Could you care for me in my sleep?
Never allowing the monsters to creep from underneath my bed,
To cause harm?
Could you wield a sword while adorned in glossy armor?
To ward off those who impair?
Can you be my light within the dark?
Because the dark envelopes me, and leaves me to my knees to beg,
For someone to save me, and to be my candlelight,
And it is not meant for the sake of desperation,
As I am in need, and I just may request
I'll say it more if I have to,
Even if it could never send you a subliminal message to radiate guilt,
Just know the the words I say in pleas
These requests are not immature,
And they are not embellished with the taste of stupidity,
Are you happy now?Your unloving body is taken whole, by a selfish need
Your pockets are filled, with an endless greed
Your cheeks are full, yet you continue to feed
Your so blind, you continue following the lead
Everything you owned and charished, were sold
You did all this for heaps of gold
Suprised you haven't fallen from what you hold
You posess a great guilt, can you feel it?
Deep down the gory, mangled heart, a flame that is lit
Killing you internally, feeling your mind ready to split
You may not listen now,
Hear me or not, I speak of truth, I take a solemn vow
Your a walking corpse, decayed and rotten
Your loving life, all forgotten
In return for what?
Money, money, money, yet your still in a rut
Your happy, yet wounded, inside you are cut
It bleeds in pain, it can't be sewn shut
Can you see it now? If so, don't cry
Because if you look around, no one is nearby
I could tell you you're loved, but that's a lie
You shout to me that you have made a mistake
I tell you that you can go ahead and cry a who
I Never Know What to DoI really can never be able to explain this feeling,
You would think after experiencing it so many times,
That I would know what it is,
You would think that I would know what to do by now,
But I don't,
I never learn, and so it tears apart at me from inside,
I am not lying about this,
I would never,
Only if I were trying to hide my tears,
This pain allows me to shed my tears,
And they burn along my skin,
And I have to force myself to keep crying,
For my heart is not satisfied by the small amounts of my weeping,
My heart is pounding at my rib cage,
And it overwhelms my body and my head,
It takes over every logical thought I try to make,
Feeling this strong emotion and pain,
And I just never really know what to do,
I feel like I am bleeding,
And it hurts,
It's this point where I feel that these cheap bandages can't help,
They can't stick, with their useless adhesives,
I am still hurting,
I am still bleeding,
It still stings immensely,
But I don't know what to do,
There's nothing I
FragileI know that you're broken,
And that your pieces are scattered,
I know that you're bruised,
And that your pale skin is battered.
I can see the scars,
That you're trying to hide,
And I can see the hurt,
Burried beneath your pride.
You're barely holding together,
Your tattered, fraying threads,
The harder you try to keep it in,
The more the hole spreads.
Stop trying to battle alone,
When I'm here with sword in hand,
I can help you pick up the pieces,
There'll be nothing we can't withstand.
Don't give up the fight,
My friend who is so fragile,
Take my hand and let me hold you,
Let me love you for a while.
You think that it's not worth it,
And just want to give in,
So you run the blade down your arm,
Breaking your heavenly skin.
I wish that I could show you,
How much you mean to me,
But you just push me away,
And wallow in your debris.
Why can't you see what I see?
I think that you're amazing,
I love your scars, and your wounds,
And your eyes that are always blazing.
I am giving you my all,
My Master's VoiceI screamed at him "I'm leaving!"
He smiled and said "okay"
I said "no, for once I mean it
This time you wont make me stay"
But bags were never really packed
And that night in our bed I lay
The taste of blood on my lips
Still remained there the next day
I screamed at him "please stop this!
I am the Mother to your child
Baby, I know you have a temper
I know my ways make you so wild"
"But I promise I'll try harder
Not to push your buttons so much"
With that the beast resumed control
As I quiver at each stolen touch
They scream at me to leave him
To them it's such a simple choice
But it's been so long since I've heard
Anything but my master's voice
To the point that I no longer know
My own mind or my own heart
But today he said he's sorry again
And tomorrow will be a fresh start
HappinessShe leaves me frequently, without warning-
this capricious lover of mine.
Without provocation, she deserts me;
without rhyme or reason she leaves me to
complete her madness in the dark.
I forget often that she is Master
and I mustn't question her actions
even though they leave me at a loss.
As I standby, and learn to dissect myself
like an insect speared on a peg,
or a corpse rotting in some grimy catacomb,
I must recite the mantra:
she is god. She is god.
Fragments of days pass by me
and I, in a haze of half-forgotten memory, cannot piece together
any singular moment in time
that could connect to anything else.
There is only her,
and her spindly hands upon my throat
before she finishes her rounds
and smugly skips away.
I try fruitlessly to pick up the
shattered remains of what was once a human life.
Her face is tattooed on my soul.
Her voice echoes in the lonely halls of my memory.
Her touch is a scar upon my existence.
I cannot salvage a thing.
And then, just like the tide,
BlackbirdA black winged bird sat atop a roof,
Nonchalantly humming its caws and coos.
For there on the street down yonder it peered,
At the coming of jeers; the walking of fear.
It saluted its foe and hopped to and fro,
Unaware that behind the mask was a heart of gold.
But the blood stained cheeks and pale white hands
Reached out for the bird, thus it succumbed to their demands.
Feathers flew in the wind from the night time air,
A whirlwind of darkness only the night could compare;
The bird found a place where it could perch and respite,
On the shoulder of a corpse oh, what a delight!
A chuckle from a mouth that the heavens forbade,
Gave room for the next few words that were said:
"Blackbird, blackbird! Why have you come?
In this unruly hour the night will be undone!
The children on the street are marching one by one,
To innocent to know that a nightmare has begun."
He clasped his hands when he finished his speech,
His shoulders were shaking in delicious relief
UnderHopeUpon an empty grave I sit
To calm my relentless fears
In hopes of relieving this empty pit
From the times I have succumbed
To the rage inside, I've finally died
The vile monsters that kept me alive
Left me to hope for a place below
When I no longer see this world outside
Because in the ground I reside
I cling to the stone all cold and grey
Makes me think of younger day
Wishing to visit that place
When I would laugh and sing
My throat's aching
I'm choking on all the thoughts
I wish they'd go away
So in this pit I wouldn't stay
The mist of night has settled in
Words of past come lumbering in
All creatures of the dark
Come to me feed on me
Putting me in icy grasp
Until my life, I no longer clasp
And finally I drift off to bed
All torture of this world
No longer suffering in my head
Can I Trust YouCan I trust you,
With my heart?
So many times before
It's been broken,
It's fragile now.
Will you take care of it?
It can't take much more.
No more abuse.
If it breaks again,
I'm afraid it can't be fixed.
So many times before,
It's had to be stitched together.
You must be gentle with it.
It needs to be cared for,
And loved forever.
You can't love it now,
And later change your mind.
That's what broke it before.
Can I trust you with it?
Dream.Is it just me,
Or is it just you?
I don't know if it's true
So please give me a clue.
I don't know what to think
So please give me a hint,
Cause the way that you've been
Is too good to be real.
The Worst Bully You Can HaveThe worst bully you could have is yourself.
You criticize every little thing you do wrong.
You judge what you wear and notice every flaw you have.
Looking in the mirror you hate how you are and what you have become.
You hate how you think and how stupid you can be.
You envy others for their looks and personality.
Looking into the mirror you can't look yourself in the eye.
What if other people can't look into their own eyes when looking in the mirror?
Have you ever taken the thought to think that person you envy, envy's you.
Do other people think their stupid and hate how they think?
Have other people looked into the mirror and hate how they are and what they have become.
What if other people notice every flaw they have and judge what they wear them self?
Have many people criticized every little thing they have done wrong.
Is the worst bully you can have yourself?
Defense.It's a subtle feeling at first, then it warps your mind.
Everything and everyone you knew becomes obsolete.
Suddenly nothing's there except for the next rhyme.
But still, there's a spark and it sweeps you off your feet.
It terrifies you, you've never felt this have you?
You'll be fine though, the shock'll wear off soon.
Lightening strikes you speechless.
It shapes your every movement.
You step forward to reach it.
But it beats your subtle improvement.
Explosions roar inside your heart.
Everything is based on this, and it's pulling you apart.
Maybe this is the end.
But for me it's just beginning.
Because love I'll have to defend.
And I'm adamant on winning.
Don't Ask For MeScraped skin on your knees I see,
Bearing compliments and a single flower with a droop in its neck,
Smothering the stem between your fingers, you clasp your hands
You beg and plead for a favor from me
You're mouthing these words into nearly full-blown paragraphs,
And you fill your mouth with saliva, almost drooling
As if they were waves crashing against an insubstantial barrier,
Your lips open and close with every utter,
And you describe the beauty of me,
And you soak your words with a depression that is almost touching,
And yet your eyes don't have the same feeling
You say that you want to be my knight,
And you say that your heart still carries a love for me,
And you try to remind me of all the other times,
The times of laughter and all,
And just to remember...
You try to say that you can make changes,
All the changes for the better and for my sake,
Yet what is the hint you can't take?
The changes I want are hurtful,
And I need no changes, I want to change no
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More